How this one post about a cannabis conference revealed what’s wrong with the world today
A recent Reddit Post illustrated a comment on the “Fatphobic” nature of cannabis conferences due to the mentioning of munchies. The question then being, is talking about eating shaming fat people?
For context, prior to engaging in the rest of the article, I’ll post the original screen shot of the comment here;
As you can see here, the person in question was attending a conference and found that talking about “the munchies” was a direct assault on fat people.
We would have to assume that the original poster of this comment must be overweight and as a result feels some sort of shame for their current bodily configuration.
However, this is all fine but there was a particular phrase within the comment that revealed a deeper revelation about what’s happening in the world. It was the phrase, “And sometimes I forget how the world outside of the safe little bubble I’ve made for myself. (It’s been a while since I attended a conference outside of this space, so I wasn’t prepared as I usually am in more fatphobic spaces).
This right here – in my opinion – is one of the major reasons we are seeing this cultural clash play out in the public space. This brings us to a matter of subjectivity, the imposition of self on others, and whether or not the world should bend to suit your personal narratives.
So why don’t you go ahead and grab a joint or a bong, sit back and explore these concepts with me.
Why Personal Bubbles Pop!
Let’s tackle this very first aspect of the comment, “the safe little constructed bubble”. While having a “safe space” in theory seems like a good idea, the fact of the matter is that nowhere is empirically safe. Safe is a subjective concept meaning that what you consider “safe” is not necessarily “safe” for someone else.
A “safe space” in essence is a place where you can freely express yourself without the fear of retaliation from others. In other words, it’s a place where “YOU” are always right and nobody else can say anything to disrupt this.
While it’s good to nurture your own self-worth and dialogue with your unconscious self regularly, there has to be a sense of objectivity to your actions. Think of it this way, when your world is subjectively constructed around your personal narrative, and the external world doesn’t reflect this idealized version of reality – whenever the “consensus reality” crashes into your bubble…it pops!
Suddenly, you’re exposed, outnumbered and vulnerable. How you can feel “safe” now that counter-narratives invaded your space. How can you “unhear” these narratives?
The truth of the matter is that you can’t un-hear these narratives. You can either redirect or reconstruct the narrative to suit your own, accept it as part of the consensus reality, or try to fight it in order to have the world bend to your will.
Often times, people who subscribe to the idea of a “safe space” would go on the offensive, trying to change the world’s perspective on their subjective experience of it. This often backfires and swings the pendulum further away from their truth.
But why does it matter? Why is it necessary for some to completely snuff out the narrative of the other? I believe it’s because the counter-narrative illuminates the shaky foundations of their internalized and sustained belief.
They can detect hints of truth within the counter-argument, which in turn creates a sense of “inauthenticity” in their lives. If their current actions that are attributing to their internalized problems, are also a part of the reason they are suffering – they choose to blatantly ignore these elements in order to repair their damaged internal image.
In the case of the OP, calling “talking about the munchies” as Fatphobic, is to say assert that “eating is not the reason why some people get fat”. When in reality, we know that exercise, a proper diet, and a well-balanced psychology all form part of weight retention.
To ignore this fact is to make oneself willfully ignorant to their own problems. It also means that if anyone hints at this truth that it would be interpreted as a direct assault to the person holding these views.
In turn, they isolate themselves further into their “Safe Spaces”, finding people who hold similar views and building up a “world view” according to their niche community.
Unfortunately, even within communal disillusionment, consensus reality will inevitably pop those bubbles en-masse.
Why it’s better to become comfortable in “unsafe spaces!”
We essentially want a “safe space” in order for us to sleep, rest, heal, and be ourselves. This is the purpose of an environment of this nature. This is why we have homes, bedrooms, etc. However, you don’t live solely in these spaces and never venture out into the world for a fear of “something bad” happening to you.
Well – some people do, but they typically have psychological condition that amplifies their discomfort and perceived hostility of their environment.
Ironically, it’s during these hard times that a safe space can provide a temporary platform so you can heal, but you cannot outsource this safe space into the world.
The “world” by definition is a hostile place where everything is heading towards chaos – everything is in a state of Entropy.
This reveals to us two major truths;
Your safe bubble is a space that remains stagnant in a world that is in constant evolution
What you found hostile before might have evolved with the time, the culture, etc.
What this means is that as long as you remain in your “safe space” the world outside continues to evolve and change. The moment you feel “protected” against the old narrative, you find that in the time you excluded yourself from the global conversation that you now face multiple new narratives – once more challenging your original position.
It’s far better to become mindful of your problems and to learn how to be okay while you’re in a difficult spot. To address the root cause of your unhappiness and why this particular idea is triggering you so much.
Perhaps, in the case of the overweight individual – if diet is such an important element to eating, it would return the responsibility of weight back onto the individual. It would mean that being fat is a choice and it would cost “effort” to change this. Effort the individual isn’t willing to pay.
Perhaps it also reveals a deeper underlying issue – their addiction to the food.
However, if you want to “stop feeling” bad for these narratives – it’s probably best to:
Truly analyze the source of your problems, identify if there’s anything YOU can do
Learn to Love yourself through the discomfort
Make the appropriate changes if you are unhappy with your current situation
These are the most effective ways to deal with any kind of problem.
But…but…but…cue the excuses!
The moment when the responsibility is shifted back to the individual is the moment the excuse monster wakes up. It begins finding all the reasons why you can’t do X, Y or Z.
“I’m poor and can’t possibly!”
“I’m overweight because of genes!”
“I can’t get ahead in life because of ____(fill in the blank)”
This in essence is the victimization of self and removes all responsibility and power away from the individual. I’m not saying there aren’t factors that make it “harder” for some than for others.
For example, it’s far more difficult if you are overweight to start working out than if you are fit and on your ideal weight. This is because over time, you form habits and a certain type of gravity towards particular actions and non-actions.
There’s a momentum in your life.
Breaking this momentum requires effort, changing directions of the momentum even more – but with enough persistence, you can create a new direction and momentum towards what you truly want in life.
This is all a part of the Great Cosmic Automation and when you understand this, you can shape your habits to lead towards your ideal life as opposed to being subjected to the power of your current internal automation.
The book “Atomic Habits” talk about this in great detail.
Your excuses or “reasons” for why you can’t will always be the factor that stands between you and the happiness or acceptance you desire. And if you’re making a safe space to hide in, where the world can’t dialogue with you and where you can’t update your own internalizations according to the “global script” – then you’ll become a victim even when a comment isn’t directed towards yourself.
May this post put a mirror to our own justifications
The person in the post that felt the aggression from the speakers at that cannabis convention is a more extreme example of what we all do in various situations. We believe that the world needs to behave our criteria when in reality, the world gives zero fucks about any one of our personal belief systems.
There will always be people who hate you for a wide number of reasons, others that will love you for the same. At the end of the day, none of that matters except how you feel about yourself. If you need other people to affirm your identity then it means that you’re not living your authentic self.
You are merely a forgery of what you could be, and you’re either too afraid or too lazy to make the right changes to invoke your best self. Nonetheless, this is something that applies to us all…so instead of shitting on the victim of self-induced fat-shaming, let’s look at ourselves and make better choices.
Pop your safe space bubble and step into the real world. It’s not as bad as you think!